Psalm 63:7-8
December 18, 2009“Because you are my Rest, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You: You’re right hand upholds me.”
When I first read this verse, I wrote it down. I taped it to my desk in plain view. It was a beautiful concept: finding rest in God– clinging to Him. After a few months, the 3×5 note card started to frustrate me. The concept of clinging to God drastically changed from beautiful to desperate. I spent a good four or five journal entries wondering why God wasn’t upholding me despite the fact that I was clinging with everything in me.
a snippet: “I am literally clinging onto You with every ounce of strength i have left. And yet… no rest. When is this ‘upholding’ going to start?”
And then. A revelation.
Am I really clinging to God?
Or am I clinging to what I expect Him to do in this situation?
Am I really clinging to God?
Or am I clinging to my idea of “okay”?
cling: to remain persistently or stubbornly faithful.
What am I remaining stubbornly faithful to?
What areas of my life am I not budging in?
Pause for self-evaluation.
….
The one area in which I promise again and again that I will not budge, is always the first area in which I do budge.
But these are new areas. I’ve worked the past ten years on not being stubborn in areas of my life that i recognized my stubbornness.
And now. The areas where I’ve never even imagined I could be stubborn.
….
What I really clinging to?
